Fear

 I am a daughter and a sister and I’m a mother to 6 kids between the age of 3 and 18… One I gave birth to, 3 step kids from a previous relationship and 2 from my awesome fiancé Jeff. I also have to old foster kids that still call me mom and many other kids of all ages who all consider me their adopted mom…  I have 1 nephew 2 nieces 2 great nieces a hedgehog named fluffy McSpike and a roomate named Grant who we hapily refer to as the fish(a name which is a story all in its self) I love the outdoors shopping (especially for shoes) baking reading and various forms of art… I speak out strongly against bullying of any form and am an advocate for suicide awareness and prevention. I have had the privilege of working with young girls and their female adult mentors through the Dove Self Esteem Fund and have coached sports. I also maintain a home and run my own childcare busuness. Getting to do all of this and love my life has not come easy.

Growing up in a Christian home I got to experience God’s love at an early age. When I was very young my parents worked with young mothers in a home in Vancouver when we moved to Cranbrook and joined the foursquare church my dad sat on the church council. My parents were both involved in various youth group activities and by 10 I had accepted Jesus and at 12 was baptized. I became very involved in my church community and things were pretty good. Being a St Mary’s(a Catholic independent school) Kid I had been used to all my friends going to different churches and also being part of Christian homes.. Life took a drastic change when I entered Public School in grade 8 and relised not everyone lived that life and there was some new found freedom in my own life as well… I started hanging out with a different type of crowd started drinking and doing drugs and stopped caring about my relationship with God. I was young and thought I knew all the answers to everything. I was certian I had life figured out.I experienced alot of abuse in my life physically sexualy and mentally. I got into alot of trouble not just in school but at home and with the police involved as well. A couple months before I was suposed to graduate from Baker I told my mom I just didn’t care that I was moving to Calgary. Shortly after our conversation I was gone and life was just one big party. I did come back to Cranbrook for awhile and then took off to Victoria. I was 19 years old thought I was in love. I had started to clean my life up but still didn’t fully care. I got offered a job in Kelowna that I couldn’t pass up. After a few weeks my boyfriend  and I broke things off because long distance just didn’t work for us. After a while in my new job I had to quit because I was so sick.  I came back to Cranbrook and my mom took me to the doctor and I found out I was 4 months pregnant. I was 19… I felt very alone and very scared. … Shortly after my 20th birthday I gave birth to the most beautiful human I had ever met… She was 6 weeks premature… So tiny and so precious and in a quiet moment as I held her in my arms I began to cry out to God “ok, I get it. I need to really grow up now!” I left Cranbrook for about 10 years. I built a life in Kamloops area. I got to back to Cranbrook where I met Jeff and I am so thankful I did.

It’s not always easy letting God take the wheel and I still have days where I feel i need to be in control. .. Trust is a very hard thing for me to give others but I want to trust. I want God to work through me to help others. From a young age I was told that God has called me to work with Children and youth and I believe that with all my heart. When Jesse gave me the of to be part of young life I jumped all over it. For a long time I was so afraid of so many things and I hid that fear behind addiction and hate I was affraid of God and that he wouldn’t love me anymore because turned away from him but I know that this nit true.

In 2 Timothy 1:7 it says

 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

 That means we can say “no” to fear, doubt and insecurity and say “yes” to faith and live a bold, victorious life. When we decide to choose faith over fear, it activates.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Levi Thetford
    May 08, 2014 @ 01:11:54

    I love this statement and it’s so true “That means we can say “no” to fear, doubt and insecurity and say “yes” to faith and live a bold, victorious life. When we decide to choose faith over fear, it activates.” Thanks for the great post!!!

    Reply

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