My daughter came into this world in a time when I felt alone and scared and unsure of myself as a woman never mind that I was about to have to think of somebody other than myself. From the moment I found out I was going to have a baby I had to start thinking about how every decision for the rest of my future would also impact her future. i didn’t know I was having a daughter until the moment she was born and honestly It put a bit more pressure on me to find out I would have to raise a girl (on my own) in a world that caters to men and still, unfortunately, looks down upon unmarried mothers, especially ones who are so young. My daughter was born shortly after my 20th birthday and I honestly was still trying to figure out my own place in this world and who I was. It was a very scary position to be in.
Although i have never been lacking in personal confidence I was never at a point where i was 100% comfortable with being me. Looking into the face of my brand new baby girl I wondered what she would one day become and how was I going to impact her life. Would I leave an impression on her even remotely close the the one my mother left on me? The women in our family tend to be outspoken and will not be pushed around. They are women who have careers and raise families and sometimes times they have even done it on their own. My mother was a single mother for 10 years with my older brother, she went to school, got a decent job and raised a boy into a man. I can look to her for guidance with confidence that she will speak to me with wisdom and experience and I am forever grateful for that. If my mother ever lacked in Confidence about her ability to raise a daughter she hid it very well. She taught me that women are stronger than they realize, they are powerful beyond measure, they are all beautiful in their own unique ways and they can do and be whatever they choose and nobody can tell them any differently.
My daughter is 11 and although she feels awkward sometimes and lacks self esteem periodically she is a pretty amazing kid. She already knows pretty much who she is and where she is headed in life and has from an early age. She has come to me at different times throughout her young life and told me she is who she is because I am her mother. What this means to me is that as I have grown in my own strength and confidence as a woman I have shown her that she is worth more than just existing in this world. even though I have doubts sometimes I am quickly reminded that if I can be bold in my thoughts, views, ideals and also be confident in who I am and where I am going I am giving her permission to do the same. If we are weak, and unsure our daughters become the same. As the old saying goes “She’s just like her mother” and it is so very true and if we have a good example of what it means to be a woman in todays society we can create confident women of the future. If young girls have strong female mentors in their lives they themselves become strong female mentors. It may not always come from a mother, it may be a grandmother, an an aunt a sister or even a friend but it is a proven fact that when girls have at least one strong female mentor in their life they can do great things. I hope i can have the same impact on my step daughters even from a distance.
Whatever we believe in life, whatever our personal convictions are, whatever our values, we must be confident, we must be strong and we absolutely must be BOLD for our daughters. My wish is that all my daughters will achieve greatness in whatever they do and that they will become bold women for the future of their daughters.