Hurting Is Not Helping… Body Shaming Doesn’t Work!


My daughters are 12, 11 and 5. One I gave birth to the other two I was blessed to love because they were brought into my life by my husband. There are many other girls and young women who are in my life that I love and consider my own. All of these girls are smart, funny, artistic, sporty, fun, loud, quiet, unique! Whatever it is that they enjoy it is what makes them who they are! They all have different body types and levels of health (and it had nothing to do with their size). So I’m going to talk about one in particular.

My 12 year old is my blood. Many people talk about how much she looks like me. She was born 6lbs 1oz and 21in long. She was long and skinny and born almost 6 weeks early… Accompanying her premature birth she was severely jaundice and as she grew we found she had immune system issues, allergies and is high functioning ASD…. She’s so smart and so kind and very impulsive. She loves sports and has a hard time with sticking to her food restrictions because let’s face it, cheese and bacon are really good! Her weight fluccuates frequently and she may only be 12 but she is standing at 5’9″. She gets self conscious about her body frequently and a big part of that is because she has developed very quickly while dealing with all the other stuff going on in her life. It really dosnt help that society puts an absolutely ridiculous standard on appearance especially for females!

My body is far from perfect but I try to walk with my head held high knowing that nobody is perfect and that my daughter is watching my every move! I love taking her out for hikes, going swimming, getting to the gym when we can. We try to stay active and eat right because we want to be healthy! I want my daughter to be proud of her mother and I want her to be confident with herself. I want this for all the girls and women in my life!

Our society has gone to an almost full blown war over body image and appearance. It’s gotten to the point where you can’t just be who you are without somebody casting judgement soaly based on the way a person looks.

Recently comedian Nicole Arbour went on a crazy rant filled with profanity and blatant hate for fat people that she tried to disguise as concern claiming “body shaming is not a thing… Fat people made that up”… What the what? I’m sorry but the video was shameful and absolutely disgusting. Casting judgment on anybody, of any size, is not ok. We need to empower each ther, build confidence in each other and body shaming is absolulty a thing that goes all ways. I think Whitney Way Thore said it best  “It is the really nasty spawn of a larger parent problem called body shaming, which I’m fairly certain everyone on the planet, especially women, has experienced.”

Whitney went on in her video to mention that we don’t know what a persons situation is and I whole heartedly agree. You can not judge the state of a persons health based on their apearance. Fat or thin anybody can have diabetes, liver issues, heart issues, issues with their joints and muscles. A perfect example of this is a friend of mine who’s uncle ran marathons, ate an amazingly healthy and balanced diet and doctors considered him a picture of perfect health. One day he was walking up his stairs to bed and fell over dead. He had a heart attack, he was only 33yrs old. Doctors said that his heart had been ticking time bomb that went missed!

I guess the point of this post is that all of this body shaming has got to stop. It’s not helping anybody and its creating very angry and depressed children as young as 9 and 10 who won’t even go to school because kids are picking on them based on the way they look! Teenagers are commuting suicide and to many people are loosing family members and friends to eating disorders and other problems brought on by body shaming. Bulling is not Ok and Body shameing is exactly that!

Love yourself and Love others

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