I’m going to start off right away by saying I know not everyone is going to agree with me. This topic is a touchy one at best and I am quite certain a few feathers are going to get ruffled (I know mine did).
Almost all my life I was a supporter of Educated Choice. I was a firm believer that a woman’s body is hers and that all decisions regarding her body were hers alone to make and that included the choice to have an abortion. I was still of this mind set until very recently, Sunday to be exact. Yes I still believe that everyone is free to do whatever they choose with their own lives and bodies but with that being said I no longer am a supporter of Abortion I am a supporter of pregnant women.
For close to 15 years I have had a big huge secret eating away at me. Yes there have been a very select few people that have known my secret. Until very recently (today actually) my parents didn’t even know. When I was 18 I was living a life that was a roller coaster ride spinning widely out of control. I left high school only a few months before graduating and took off to The city. While I was there I found out that I was in the early stages of a pregnancy with a child of a person who I don’t even remember now! I was not ready to be a parent, I didn’t know who the father was and my life style was not really ideal for having a child. I wanted out and I wanted out fast. I did some quick research and found out where I could have an abortion and that was that. Almost immediately after I felt shame and guilt but I just continued on with life and buried my secret deep down with no intentions of ever telling anyone ever. I’m pretty much certain that a lot of my personal mental health and physical health issues stem from the abortion. For a list of risks associated with abortion Please Visit http://afterabortion.org/1999/abortion-risks-a-list-of-major-physical-complications-related-to-abortion/
Even with all my guilt, all my mental and physical health issues and all the research I have done over the years I still believed that Abortion was absolutely acceptable in certain circumstances! So what changed? I had the opportunity to listen to and meet with a woman who’s story spoke so deeply to my heart that I couldn’t hold in my secret anymore and I couldn’t not accept the truth I had already deep down known for years.
I have been going through a very intense season of change in my life over the last several months. My marriage ended, my grandfather and a young man who was like a cousin to me both passed away within a week of each other, my daughter and I packed up our lives in Kamloops BC amd returned to my home town, I quit a job that was not good for me in a very emotional exit, we have struggled financially, and although I thought I had returned to the church I belonged I felt God calling me to go someplace else.
When I opened up And listened to him the season of change and God lead me someplace I had not been in many years. When My daughter and I walked through the doors of a church I had not been in since I was a child one the first people to greet us was a long time family friend. I used to babysit his Children, his daughter is somebody I consider to be my friend, his son officiated my wedding, his wife is one of the most real women I have ever met and once upon a time she was my piano teacher. Our families have never stopped being friends. When I walked into the Sanctuary his wife was there and she gave me a hug and told me they were having a guest speaker. The worship was lead by that very boy I used to babysit who is now an amazing man of God raising up a family of his own. The songs were songs that spoke to both my daughter and I. The pastor Got up and shared his joy about having is wife in Church for the first time in quite some time as her health is not good and she currently resides at the local hospital. When he was done sharing his joy and began to introduce the guest speaker and it was in that moment I could hear God say “This is going to be good”. As Denise began to talk I felt God tugging at my heart more and more and the more she shared the more I changed inside. She spoke about her life, about being the victim of rape, about her addictions about not one but 3 abortions, about her quest to learn about all the Religions of the world and figure out which one was right to her, she talked about the Bell Service man who came to her door and talked with her about being a Christian, she talked about becoming at Christian in her 30’s and about meeting her husband. She talked about her passion which is to speak out against abortion. She talked about why we as Christians need to speak out against abortion, because no child is unplanned and God has for whatever his purpose allowed those pregnancies.
The whole time she spoke a felt more and more that pregnant women need more support not more access to abortion. They need people to love them, stand by them and help them either choose to raise that baby themselves or give that baby to somebody who desperately wants to be a parent. I think that if I had felt like if I had done more research I would have choosen differently but now I do know more, I have asked God to forgive me and with the help of Denise and her beautiful soul I have also forgiven myself. I can be stronger for myself, for my daughter and for other women. I can now be a voice for the voiceless and I will through my support towards thing like Canada Silent no more and places like Shepherds House which will stand to be a support to women and their families during pregnancy. I want to say thank you to Densise for letting me know how not alone I am, that it’s ok to talk about my past and share with others about my abortion and that I should. I want give praise to God who leads my path and guides me where I need to be when I need to be there especially when I listen.
Please know that you are not alone. There are options that are so much greater than termination. There is support if you have had an abortion or are considering abortion. You do not have to live with guilt. Please stand up for the voiceless.
To learn more about Canada Silent No More visit http://www.canadasilentnomore.com/
You can purchase a copy of Denise Mountenay’s Wonderfull Book “The Bride, The Serpent & The seed on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Bride-Serpent-Seed-Denise-Mountenay/dp/1498401449
To learn more about Densise Mountenay, her testimony and her work visit http://www.denisemountenay.ca/