Lessons I’ve Learned

I have one of those , in your face, hot headed, stubborn yet compassionate personalities. I’ve made my fare share of mistakes over the years but what I have learned from those mistakes is helping me make better choices as I go forward.

When I was younger, lieing and manipulation was a sure way to get me what I thought I wanted or needed. It ruined a lot of relationships with people I loved having in my life. Some of those relationships have been healed over time while others are just memories of a time passed.

I have a temper. I’m pretty sure I get it from my father. He’s a fantastic, kind and catering man but when he is angry it’s best to walk away. Unfortunately I am also extremely stubborn like he is and I don’t back down when I feel wronged. Some days I wish I had a calmer personality like my mother and I am working on it. My temper and stubborn nature has also ruined a lot of relationships. 

These personality traits are difficult ones to live with. I care deeply and I feel deeply and I truly love everyone so I am listening more and speaking less and making an effort to re-build some of the relationships that have been lost!

Having roommates does not work for me. It’s one thing when you live with family but it’s different when you live with friends or even people you just started rooming with. My first roommate actually drove me completely crazy and I was extremely happy when we parted ways. We still talk occasionally and are even Facebook friends but other then the occasional friendly chit chat if we happen to run into each other or the like or comment of a Facebook post, we really don’t have a relationship anymore. We have very diffferent lifestyles and we now live 8 hours apart so that plays a huge factor. My 2nd roommate was somebody I met through childcare. I had looked after her son when she went out of town, we built a friendship and were quite close. We traveled together, shared holidays and special occasions together and then one day she moved away. One day we decided to become roommates and go into business together. This was a big mistake. Personalities and ideas about how the business should be run amongst other things destroyed our relationship. We haven’t spoken in quite a few years now and there days that I miss her terribly. I do have to say that I have had one roommate that I loved and still love. My best friend and her family moved in with my temporarily. Although it had its issues truly loved haveing her around. When we needed each other all we had to do was walk into the next room or wait until the other person got home… I didn’t even mind that her husband and their kids even lived with us… We are more then friends, we are family. 

I’ve said and done some stupid things and made some poor choices but I have accepted them, learned from them and I am moving on confidently and passionately and even mending some broken bridges along the way all with God’s help!


Reflections of 2016

2016 was one of those years where so many people, myself included, felt overwhelmed and, many times, lost in an emotional journey. The year was hit hard with loss on a personal level as well as a public one but it’s also had moments of great triumph.

Living in Kamloops I brought in this year with good friends, and although I was looking forward to a year of great things after an emotional roller coaster that was 2015, it became a year of great learning as I overcame obstacles and challenges thrown my way. 

I still remember the day I got the call from my cousin that her brother had died in a car accident and then later that day my mom calling to tell me my grandpa had passed away. It was like a Mack truck rammed me so hard in the chest that I could hardly breath. Little did I know these deaths would completely alter the course of my journey. Instead of moving to Fort Mac I ended up back in my home town and Have spent more time listening to God.

My daughter had been homeschooled for so much of her life that the choice to allow her to return to public school for grade 8 was very hard on me. I do believe she is right where she needs to be at this point in her young life. My career has altered slightly, I left childcare and now I have the challenge and joy of working with ASD Children. I learn something new ever day and I absolutely love it. It’s different then just working with my own ASD child. I left the Church I thought I was supposed be part of and ended up in a a place where I can feel God on such a deep level that it can become overwhelming sometimes. Financially it hasn’t been easy but that’s ok. I am making it work the best I can. Although things aren’t exactly how I pictured they would be I know I’m ok and I know my child is ok (even if she is driving me crazy some days) and that’s really all that matters. It’s funny to think that I thought I knew where I was headed and God said “nope, time to go this way!” 

I used to be of the mindset that “God only gives us what we can handle” but this year changed that for me as I really have taken the time to listen to him. He uses trials as a teaching moment and waits for us to ask him for help because we can’t go through life without him. He is a good father who, like any good parent, wants nothing but the best for us but we have to trust him and ask him for guidance and help because that’s what parents are for.

As 2016 is coming to an end I look back and can see the learnnng that has taken place through the loss and through the times of great joy. Relationships have ended, new friendships have been formed and through it all I have come out the other side a stronger, better me! I will go into 2017 knowing the importance of real, healthy relationships, cutting out toxic ones, and plan on spending the year accumulating less “stuff” and creating more memories with the people who are important in my life. 

My prayer for you is this. May God bless you with memories of great joy. May your heart be filled with love. May you spend more time laughing and less time hurting. May you be surrounded by people that enhance your life. May you reach out and help others without hesitation whenever you can. May broken relationships with family be healed. May 2017 be a year of listening to God and following where he leads and when you are feeling overwhelmed, may you call out to God and ask him to help you through the difficult time. May you remember to be thankful through all the good and the bad and know that God’s plan is always greater then ours!

Happy New Year!

Mary Did You Know? Merry Christmas!

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?

This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.
Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?

When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?
Mary did you know.. Ooo Ooo Ooo
The blind will see.

The deaf will hear.

The dead will live again.

The lame will leap.

The dumb will speak

The praises of The Lamb.
Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy is heaven’s perfect Lamb?

The sleeping Child you’re holding is the great “I am”

As we gather with friends and family this holiday season we must take time to reflect on the most precious gift we have been given. 

The Nativity story and the true meaning of Christmas gets lost in the commercialism of modern Holiday Season but as Christians we must remember the the importance of Jesus birth. God blessed the Virgin Marry with a son whome she named Jesus. He was sent to earth to teach, to be a friend of sinners, to heal and love, and later die so that we might live. This gift and the story of his life are reminders that it is so much more important to give them to receive because that gift can mean all the difference in somebody else’s life. 

I have raised my daughter to understand the importance of doing for others and having a servents heart especially during this time of year when it can become extremely difficult for others. From a young age she has always understood the true spirit of this time of year and how it is so much more important to give joy and love to others and that the materialistic comforts are just a bonus when we have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food in our belly and friends and family who love and care for us.

May you be blessed with love, joy and happiness this Christmas and may you have a blessed and prosperous New Year. From Our family to Yours Merry Christmas!

Humble Yourself Before The Lord…

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. -James 4:10

When I read this scripture I have to think to myself what it means to be humble before the lord. We live in a society that promotes self praise and individuality but at what cost? 

I read a message from Billy Graham bout being humble before the lord and here are a few things I took away from it:

1: Routinley confess your sin to God (Luke 18:9-14): We all fall short of the Glory of God and my regularly take inventory of our hearts. Monthly, weekly, and even daily reflection, confessing our wrong doings to our Heavenly Father.

2: Aknowledge your sin to others (James 3:2 ; James 5:16): Humility before God is not complete without humility before man. How can we expect ourselves to be humble before God if we can not admit to others the weakness we confess to Him? It’s never easy to admit the things we struggle with but it is a very humble act.

3: Take wrong patiently (1 Peter 3:8-17): Janet Chismar Said “When something is unjust we want to react and rectify it. However, patiently responding to the unjust accusations and actions of others demonstrates our strength of godly character and provides an opportunity to put on humility.”

4: Activily submit to authority. The good and the bad (1 Peter 2:18): We live in a society the promotes individualism but purposefully and activily striving to be submissive infront of those who God has placed in authority over us is so important. When we do this in a good way we are being humble in the eyes of God.

5: Receive correction and feedback from others graciously (Proverbs 10:17, 12:1): This is something I personally struggle with every day. I don’t like it when others try to correct me especially when I feel I’ve done nothing wrong. What we need to do is say “thank you for pointing that out to me!” See what truth is in what they are saying to us, and then take it back to God and ask him what he is trying to show us or teach us in that moment.

6: Accept a lowly place (Proverbs 25:6,7): If you find yourself wanting to sit at the head table, wanting others to recognize your contribution or become offended when others are honored or chosen, then pride is present. Purpose to support others being recognized, rather than you. Accept and look for the lowly place; it is the place of humility.

7: Purposely associate with people of lower state than you (Luke 7:36-39): Jesus himself spent time with the lowest of low. He purposely sought out the beggars, theives, dunkards and prostitutes. He was a friend to sinners and the sick. The Pharisees hated that he spent his time with these people. We live in a society that is obsessed with class and status and it’s destroying our communities. Resist the temptation of being partial to those with status or wealth.

8: Choose to serve others (Philippians 1:1, 2 Corinthians 4:5, Matthew 23:11): We need to have a servents heart. When we serve others we serve God and his purpose for us. When we serve others we take the focus off of ourselves and our desires and build up God’s Kingdom. Serving others cots us nothing!

9: Be quick to forgive (Matthew 18: 21-35): Forgivmess may be one of the greatest acts of humility that we may ever do. Forgiveness is the act of acknowledging what is wrong and moving forward releasing the need for repayment of the wrong doing. Forgiving denies self. This is not a bad thing and it will help us heal!

10: Cultivate a grateful heart (1 Thessalonians 5:18): The more we develop an attitude of gratitude for the gift of salvation and life He has given us, the more true our perspective of self. A grateful heart is a humble heart.

11: Purpose to speak well of others (Ephesians 4:31-32): Some of the most amazing People I know never speak ill of others. Even the people that have wronged them are always spoke. Of with kindness and love. Saying negative things about others puts them “one down” and us “one up.” Speaking well of others edifies them and builds them up. Make sure, however, that what you say is not intended as flattery.

12: Treat pride as a condition that always necessitates embracing the cross (Luke 9:23):  It is our nature to be proud and it is God’s nature in us that brings humility. Committing to a lifestyle of daily dying to ourselves and living through Him is the foundation for true humility.

Give Thanks With a Greatful Heart…

It is Thanksgivinng weekend in Canada. It is a time of reflection on all the lord has provided. It has not been an easy year but I do know I am so very blessed.

I am counting my blessings:

My parents. No matter how crazy I may make them they are always on my side when it truly counts. We may not always see eye to eye but I know their love is pure and real.

My daughter. From day one she has been the most amazing blessing in my life. Although I am her teacher she also teaches me so much. Unconditional love is the greatest gift a mother can both give and recieve when it comes to their child.

My best friend and her husband. She’s there for me. He is my friend. Together and individually they have shown me such amazing friendship. They have both been there for me through the trials of this past year. They have allowed me to share in the joy that is their children. They are more than just friends. They are family.

My new life. I have been finding myself again. I am so glad that I was still hiding beneath the pain and the heartache that attacked over the year. I am blessed to have a roof over my head, a job that I am passionate about and a new found joy that has been missing for a long time.

I am thankful for all the trials. Without them I could not have realized just how important it is to trust in my God. He knows more then I do.

Be thankful in all life throws at you. The good brings us joy and the trials teach us and allow us to grow.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pregnant Women Need Support not Abortion

I’m going to start off right away by saying I know not everyone is going to agree with me. This topic is a touchy one at best and I am quite certain a few feathers are going to get ruffled (I know mine did).

Almost all my life I was a supporter of Educated Choice. I was a firm believer that a woman’s body is hers and that all decisions regarding her body were hers alone to make and that included the choice to have an abortion. I was still of this mind set until very recently, Sunday to be exact. Yes I still believe that everyone is free to do whatever they choose with their own lives and bodies but with that being said I no longer am a supporter of Abortion I am a supporter of pregnant women.

For close to 15 years I have had a big huge secret eating away at me. Yes there have been a very select few people that have known my secret. Until very recently (today actually) my parents didn’t even know. When I was 18 I was living a life that was a roller coaster ride spinning widely out of control. I left high school only a few months before graduating and took off to The city. While I was there I found out that I was in the early stages of a pregnancy with a child of a person who I don’t even remember now! I was not ready to be a parent, I didn’t know who the father was and my life style was not really ideal for having a child. I wanted out and I wanted out fast. I did some quick research and found out where I could have an abortion and that was that. Almost immediately after I felt shame and guilt but I just continued on with life and buried my secret deep down with no intentions of ever telling anyone ever. I’m pretty much certain that a lot of my personal mental health and physical health issues stem from the abortion. For a list of risks associated with abortion Please Visit http://afterabortion.org/1999/abortion-risks-a-list-of-major-physical-complications-related-to-abortion/ 

Even with all my guilt, all my mental and physical health issues and all the research I have done over the years I still believed that Abortion was absolutely acceptable in certain circumstances! So what changed? I had the opportunity to listen to and meet with a woman who’s story spoke so deeply to my heart that I couldn’t hold in my secret anymore and I couldn’t not accept the truth I had already deep down known for years.

I have been going through a very intense season of change in my life over the last several months. My marriage ended, my grandfather and a young man who was like a cousin to me both passed away within a week of each other, my daughter and I packed up our lives in Kamloops BC amd returned to my home town, I quit a job that was not good for me in a very emotional exit, we have struggled financially, and although I thought I had returned to the church I belonged I felt God calling me to go someplace else. 

When I opened up And listened to him the season of change and God lead me someplace I had not been in many years. When My daughter and I walked through the doors of a church I had not been in since I was a child one the first people to greet us was a long time family friend. I used to babysit his Children, his daughter is somebody I consider to be my friend, his son officiated my wedding, his wife is one of the most real women I have ever met and once upon a time she was my piano teacher. Our families have never stopped being friends. When I walked into the Sanctuary his wife was there and she gave me a hug and told me they were having a guest speaker. The worship was lead by that very boy I used to babysit who is now an amazing man of God raising up a family of his own. The songs were songs that spoke to both my daughter and I. The pastor Got up and shared his joy about having is wife in Church for the first time in quite some time as her health is not good and she currently resides at the local hospital. When he was done sharing his joy and began to introduce the guest speaker and it was in that moment I could hear God say “This is going to be good”. As Denise began to talk I felt God tugging at my heart more and more and the more she shared the more I changed inside. She spoke about her life, about being the victim of rape, about her addictions about not one but 3 abortions, about her quest to learn about all the Religions of the world and figure out which one was right to her, she talked about the Bell Service man who came to her door and talked with her about being a Christian, she talked about becoming at Christian in her 30’s and about meeting her husband. She talked about her passion which is to speak out against abortion. She talked about why we as Christians need to speak out against abortion, because no child is unplanned and God has for whatever his purpose allowed those pregnancies. 

The whole time she spoke a felt more and more that pregnant women need more support not more access to abortion. They need people to love them, stand by them and help them either choose to raise that baby themselves or give that baby to somebody who desperately wants to be a parent. I think that if I had felt like if I had done more research I would have choosen differently but now I do know more, I have asked God to forgive me and with the help of Denise and her beautiful soul I have also forgiven myself. I can be stronger for myself, for my daughter and for other women. I can now be a voice for the voiceless and I will through my support towards thing like Canada Silent no more and places like Shepherds House which will stand to be a support to women and their families during pregnancy. I want to say thank you to Densise for letting me know how not alone I am, that it’s ok to talk about my past and share with others about my abortion and that I should. I want give praise to God who leads my path and guides me where I need to be when I need to be there especially when I listen.

Please know that you are not alone. There are options that are so much greater than termination. There is support if you have had an abortion or are considering abortion. You do not have to live with guilt. Please stand up for the voiceless.

To learn more about Canada Silent No More visit http://www.canadasilentnomore.com/

You can purchase a copy of Denise Mountenay’s Wonderfull Book “The Bride, The Serpent & The seed on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Bride-Serpent-Seed-Denise-Mountenay/dp/1498401449

To learn more about Densise Mountenay, her testimony and her work visit http://www.denisemountenay.ca/

Women Can Set the World on Fire!

For so many generations women have been told to sit back and watch men succeed. Girls were raised to be homemakers and mothers and taught that they should never question their husbands or any man for that matter. Women more madd to feel less than. 

When women fought for and won the right to vote it was really the start in th shift towards equality that we still continue to fight around the world for  many equal rights that we deserve as hard working productive members of society like equal pay, access to quality education and the freedom to live our lives as we choose and not be forced into arranged marriages, child brides and child prostitution.

Girls and women prove themselves time and time again as fierce and hard work competitors and more and more women are becoming amazing role models and leaders showing our girls that they can do and be anything.

Right now we are in the midst of the 2016 Olympics in Rio. Canada, in particular Canadian women and girls, are on cloud nine as our female athletes are starting to prove their ability to the world. In Canad we are very fortunate to be able to be who they are and have the opportunity to develope their skills and prove them selves on every level from local to the World Stage. Canada currently has 8 medals at this years games which isn’t the most outstanding feet but our medals are making headlines across the world because all 8 medals won by Canadian athletes this far have been won by our female atheletes… It’s just more motivation for girls to become powerful women proving once again that women can do anything they set their minds and hearts on!

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